My Story

My Story: Why I Created The Effit Method

There was a moment when I looked at my life and wondered if it was even worth continuing. I had hit rock bottom, feeling judged, misunderstood, and different. Diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, I often considered myself to be walking in the shadows of society, hiding so no one could truly see me. It was a terrifying place to be - but also strangely liberating. When you’re at the bottom of the barrel, there’s a strange sense of clarity: you can’t sink any lower, so the only way left is up.

The Weight of Expectations

For years, I lived under the crushing weight of societal and personal expectations. Like so many others, I felt the constant pressure to work harder, earn more, and behave in ways that fit someone else’s definition of success. I felt like I was playing a role in a play I never auditioned for, and it drained me of whatever energy I had left.

It was during this time that I began to question everything. The way I lived, the rules I followed, and the energy I spent trying to conform. I realised something had to change, but it wasn’t until I reached my lowest point that I truly committed to doing so.

The Turning Point

The turning point came when I asked myself if life was even worth it. It was a moment of liberation and terror. Recognising that I had nothing left to lose gave me a strange sense of surety. Then, everything shifted when I realised I had a reason to fight: my daughter. She didn’t need a perfect parent or someone who had all the answers. She needed me - present, engaged, and willing to show up every day. For her, I had to figure out how to not only survive but thrive.

Rebuilding Myself

I began studying counselling, and it opened up a world of self-discovery. I gained incredible insight into my inner world and started to see how I could piece myself back together. Along the way, I realised something crucial: allowing myself to adhere to others’ expectations or societal norms was draining my energy and destroying my well-being.

I started prioritising what truly mattered. Sleep became a cornerstone of my recovery, allowing me to recharge my energy and face the day with a clearer mind. I also adopted the 10% rule - choosing to allocate small portions of my energy to new people and activities, ensuring I saved energy for later use. Most importantly, I stopped seeing self-prioritisation as selfish and realised that putting myself first enabled me to give more to others.

Acceptance became another powerful tool. I’ve always believed in accepting things as they are - especially the things I can’t control. Resistance, I learned, is a waste of energy. Instead, I chose to embrace the power of choice, understanding that every decision I made could either deplete or restore my energy. These principles became the foundation for a new way of living.

The Importance of Being Me (and you being you)

Eventually, I realised something fundamental: it is important to simply be me. For so long, I had been chasing what I thought I needed to fit in with societal expectations. But the truth is, I didn’t need to have a bustling social life or a wide circle of friends. I didn’t need a shiny new car or an array of material possessions to prove my worth. I didn’t need a massive salary or to compare myself to others who seemed to have it all together.

What I needed was to understand who I am and what makes me feel at peace. And, crucially, I realised that saying ‘no’ was one of the most powerful tools for my well-being.

By setting boundaries and being honest about what I could or couldn’t give, I stopped draining myself trying to meet other people’s expectations. Saying ‘no’ wasn’t selfish; it was liberating. It allowed me to prioritise what truly mattered to me - my energy, my health, and my own happiness.

This shift didn’t happen overnight. It took time to recognise that I didn’t need to measure my success by anyone else’s standards. I stopped chasing goals that didn’t align with my values, and I stopped apologising for who I am.

Being me means accepting that I’m not here to tick society’s boxes. I’m here to live my life in a way that works for me. And if that means fewer social events, a simpler lifestyle, or letting go of comparisons, so be it. Because in the end, being unapologetically myself has been the greatest gift I could ever give to my well-being.

Why I Created The Effit Method

As I started living by these principles, everything changed. My anxiety eased, and I found better ways to manage my PTS. But something else happened: my clients noticed the shift. They responded to the no-bullshit language and straight-talking approach that had transformed my own life. It became clear that this wasn’t just about me anymore. My experiences and philosophy had the potential to help others reclaim their energy, focus on their well-being, and say “fuck it” to the things that serve them.

The Effit Method was born from this realisation. It’s not about perfection or achieving some unattainable ideal. It’s about showing up for yourself, making choices that serve you, and accepting that life is messy - and that’s okay. In turn, I thought that maybe, just maybe my philosophy may just help someone else.

For Those Ready to Take the First Step

I’m just a normal guy. I’ve felt judged, misunderstood, and out of place. But if I can find a way to survive, so can you. The Effit Method isn’t about fixing you because you’re not broken. It’s about helping you reclaim your energy, make choices that align with your well-being, and let go of the things that drain you.

Start small. With every decision, ask yourself: How does this affect me? How does this help me? You’ll be amazed at the clarity that comes when you put yourself at the centre of your choices.

This isn’t just about coaching sessions or tools. It’s about creating a space where you can be yourself, ask the tough questions, and finally put yourself first. Because when you do, you’ll find that you have more to give to the people and things that truly matter.

The Effit Method is my way of sharing what I’ve learned. It’s for anyone who’s ready to say “fuck it” to the things that don’t matter and embrace the life they deserve. Ultimately, the Fuck it Philosophy isn’t about doing more or reaching every goal - it’s about acceptance. It’s about recognising who you are, where you are, and finding your place within society on your own terms. Doing what’s right for you!